oh hey, 2016

Hello, Internet 🙂 How goes it?

Hope the rest of your 2015 went well – mine went well enough that quite frankly I didn’t feel like I needed to post here. I mean, I know I have photos and such to catch up on, but for the most part, I had a really lovely 2015. And after I went on vacation in August, it was all sort of a whirlwind of “good” that I didn’t feel the need to separate from the world as much as I used to. I didn’t need this blog emotional outlet, which is what this had turned into.

Really quick, here are my top 5 moments from 2015:

  1. Graduating college – look mom, I did it! No but really, it was probably the most relief I’ve felt in a really long time. Not just the ceremony but receiving my diploma in the mail in September was just so satisfying.
  2. Star Wars – the movie came out only like 2 weeks ago, but it definitely ended my year on one of the most positive notes. And not just because I’m a Star Wars fan but because it just felt like a good omen. It reminds me of my dad, for one, but also when the theme came on it felt like the beginning of a new phase. I’m 25 (and a half lol) and I’ve started a job in a field I want to be in and I’m financially secure, emotionally secure, and couldn’t really ask for very much more. It was a lot of emotions watching the opening of Star Wars, because well Star Wars but also because I was really, really happy. I was happy that I got to experience another Star Wars, I was happy with the company I was keeping, and the fact that it closed out a great year, and again, just felt like the beginning of a new chapter. For me it wasn’t really about the movie itself, the plot, the characters (which I did really like, btw), but about reminding myself of the joy and love that I’ve had in my life.
  3. Teaching Pre-School – this is the job in the field that I want to be in. I was sort of handed a teacher’s aide position in the pre-school program through my work and I couldn’t be happier. It’s been the best four months and I’m so excited to be going back to it for the rest of the school year. It’s rewarding, and fun, and exciting. It’s also been an excellent learning experience and I know I still want to be working with this age of kids, even on the most trying of days. It felt good to realize that everything I had thought about the field was right; that I found what I love to do.
  4. Jurassic Park – similarly to Star Wars, hearing the theme to Jurassic Park just made me so happy. Jurassic Park was probably the other movie that emotionally was tied to me while growing up, because of how much my dad loved it, and how much he made my brother love it, and then how much he made me love it. We’ve been a dino family since before I was born. It came with his profession. But again, just experiencing something like that, and letting myself just feel ecstatic for two hours was a change for me and a good change. The movie came out a few weeks after my dad’s death date (one day I’ll find an eloquent phrase for that) and I had one of those few and far between spiritual moments where I knew he just wanted me to be happy. Jurassic Park was the first reminder of that after a few weeks of feeling down. And I held onto it for the rest of the year.
  5. The Beatles Love – in more broad terms, it was basically just that vacation I took with my mom, but The Beatles Love was the high point for me. We went to Vegas for 2 days and then went to Disneyland for 3. Vegas was really fun; it was fun to purely be a tourist and just engage fully in the Vegas lifestyle for 2 days. We finished our short visit there with The Beatles Love and it was really beautiful. It was my second spiritual moment (the third was Star Wars). It made me feel really zen, even though I felt like crying the whole time because my dad would have loved it. I hadn’t been as awed by Cirque Du Soleil since Quidam (we were a big Cirque family too – I’ve seen every show they’ve toured). Combined with The Beatles it was almost just too much for me but the wonder and the artistry that went into the show highlighted it’s very simple but poignant message: live and love to the fullest. I also think I needed to experience it with my mom. That trip was really good for us, as our trips together usually are. We’ve been sort of experiencing all these things together that I think my dad really would have loved. And we need those experiences. We also just have been having the best little vacations and have been enjoying our fun little adventures. She’s much more fun that I ever though she was growing up. The past few years have really made me understand and appreciate my mother more than I’ve had my entire life. And Vegas, Love, and Disneyland have been real markers of that.

I do plan on going back and using this as a “lifestyle” outlet – a scrapbook of sorts where I can catalogue photos, and recipes, and goals. Which, I figured, was why posting on the 1st day of 2016 was a good idea.

I’m not usually a “resolutions” person, and I still don’t really think I am, but for cataloging reasons, here are some wants, and goals for 2016.

Things I want to do:

  1. Have more “moments” – concerts, shows. To live, feel, and most importantly be less dependent on my phone. Less screen time.
  2. Purge – live simply. And really just be happy with what and who I have. I’ve been slowly purging things (material things) but I think I can go further and “purify,” for a lack of a better word, the other areas of my life. I don’t quite need to constantly multitask. I don’t need to work myself down (which is different from working less hours). It sort of goes back to feeling and living more.
  3. Give my all to the projects that I choose to start. It was my choice, so I will finish them.
  4. Keep reading.
  5. Keep working hard. Again, I don’t need to work less hours, or take a break, I just need to work in a way that doesn’t occupy all of my life. I don’t need to put as much thought into work after it’s done, but I can still be proud of what I do at work. I also don’t need to settle into what I’m doing and be complacent or comfortable.

And some more immediate goals:

  • Post vacation pictures
  • Post vacation video
  • Save for a car

Those I’ll have more as upfront goals (the first two MUCH more upfront than the last).

It’s a good place to start, I think. Although I had a pretty good year, life always moves on so I have to move along with it.

I’m looking forward to 2016. I’m in the latter half of my 20s and I feel much more truly at peace than I have in… ever. I’m glad to be moving forward, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the importance of everything that has happened in the past.

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, as I’ve said before. All the hurt and the annoyances and the obstacles happened so I could be where I am now. I wouldn’t change anything in the past if it meant giving up the people that I love and the memories that I have, positive or negative.

So before 2016 truly starts, thank you (all of you, including you Internet people) for everything 🙂

Christmas 2015


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