i am me-er than me

whoamiI guess I should start this blog with a proper introduction. Who am I? Which is the most ridiculous question of all time, by the way. Regardless, let’s discuss who I am:

  • College student (for the most years – i will be graduating next spring after 7 years. yup.)
  • Japanese woman
  • Daughter and sister
  • Part time…everything
  • Hockey lover
  • Beauty blogger
  • Tea crazed
  • Garden newbie
  • Food enthusiast
  • Sleep enthusiast
  • Book enthusiast
  • Tv enthusiast
  • Movie enthusiast

There’s more. A lot more. But idk, I feel like most of the time I’m halfway totally grounded in reality and halfway past Neverland. I’m a serial dreamer.

I’ll be completely honest with you, I love logic. I love when things make sense. I have put all of my faith into science and reason. I guess it’s the Virgo in me.

But I also could spend all day dreaming and creating “what if”s and living in whimsy and exploring possibilities. It’s something I keep to myself. I used to be a total extrovert (which was all Leo) and then after my dad passed away it was gone. Through the process of his treatments, and eventually his death, I just ended up pulling away. In general now, I’m an introvert.

When I decided to start a YouTube channel, it was not something that I ever thought would go past a month. But it just kept going. It helped cope with all of the things that were happening in my personal life. In fact, my channel was started barely a few months after my dad was diagnosed. It was my favorite escape – something I could put all of my energy into to distract from something I didn’t want to see, which was seeing my dad slowly succumb to something that wasn’t in his control. He was the last person that deserved that fate.

IMG_2694

In 2011, on May 31st, he lost; he was lost to my family. Which, by the way, is the dumbest expression, because it insinuates he can be found again. One of a few English phrases that drives me nuts. I basically just kept going through everything and sort of…ignored what was deeper than just the pain of him dying. The past year that’s started to come through more, which has easily coincided with the rut I’ve been in, blogging and YouTube wise.

I love making videos. I love beauty products. I love blogging. It’s a very fun and easy way to stay creative and create something unique to yourself. Just this past year with all of these other issues coming up, I ended up asking myself “what is the point of all of this?” and started to get a little discouraged. So I re-evaluated and looked at the big picture. To stop ignoring some things and focusing on everything else as well. For myself, not for anybody else. It ended up with a “me” that I was much more happy with than before. Spending time on and for myself brought about so much more happiness.

Along the way, I did end up neglecting other people and friends, which I do feel bad about but honestly, being happy with myself is worth all of it. And I did end up neglecting my channel and my beauty blog as well, which again, I feel bad about but it’s still worth my own happiness.

So I guess to make all of this make sense and a coherent post, I am making a personal blog because it makes me happy. It helps me open up and admit to things that I probably wouldn’t otherwise (and probably won’t talk about otherwise anyways). I am an introvert, but YouTube helps me come out of my shell a little, and I hope this blog helps with that as well. I’ve had ups and downs about things because of everything else going on, but it’s all turning around.

This blog will be dedicated to all the things that make me happy.

Pretty things and dreamy things.

prettythings

Hockey, food, media.

hockey

My home, my garden, and all my other places and spaces.

garden.jpg

I hope you all enjoy this journey with me

One thought

  1. So glad you’ve created this blog, it really will help you. Its great to have an outlet where you can share things that make you smile, that make you wonder; it will be great for you.
    I had no idea about your Dad; and its something I’ve gone through as well (both parents actually) so I am definitely all for surrounding yourself with things you know help you get through each day. Friends, flowers, and nail polish 🙂
    So glad to have found you through YT, and beyond.

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